It's ok not to be ok

Adoiii penatnyeeeeee hahaha. Just had my shower after gallivanting for about three hours around town alone. Haha initial intention was to get Xmas gift for gift exchange hahaha but hmmm ended up buying my stuff instead haha. I wasn't even planning on shopping haha but after I bought an item, i subconsciously went on a rampage haha. And I was alone so might as well. One of my purchases was a realllly pretty dress hehehehe. Thought of wearing it on Friday night, cos when I laid my eyes on it, it was love at first sight and thank god there was my size! And it was the last one. Yeayyyyy! That's destiny babbbyyyyy.

Ohhh not to mention that I walked around in the afternoon too. Haha after lunch with my sister. Was a nice wet Monday. And now, a cooling Tuesday.

Tomorrow, I need to clear the mess around my desk. I'm gonna throw everything away. I want a cleaner 2012, a smoother sailing year.
Adoiiiii malasnyeeeee nak bangun besokkkkkk. Aargh. Haha.
Goodnight!

Merpati Putih

I had a wonderful weekend, and I thought that it was going to be a miserable one. Spent time with my friends and family with a perfect chilling weather, I can't ask for a better Saturday and Sunday. Just watched mission impossible with Azly and guess what?! I didn't sleep haha. It was a good movie, love the cars and the invisible screen. Initially, I didnt want to watch it first as I thought that I might wanna watch it with A but well knew Azly wanted to watch it since Saturday else he will bug the hell out of me haha. Anyways, he is with his other half holidaying, I won't want to stay home and think about it so asked Azly to pick me up before I got emotional along with the stormy weather. And yeay it was a goooodddd decision.

Now, im beginning to get used to all these. To the fact that I love someone who belongs to someone else. I guess whatever he said on that Friday night really woke me up. I should not have pushed him. The things I did was actually self destructive, but in a good way. Haha. I get stronger every time that he's not with me. So yeay to me!

Tomorrow is Monday and I'm dreading to go to work. Not just because he is not there, but because I'm beginning to think twice about my job. Like where am I going from there? Now I'm getting envious of melly hahaaa. At least she gets to see different faces walking into the office everyday haha. Not that I don't like to see my familiar colleagues, just that I don't see myself as a necessity there haha. So yeahhhhh......

Oh went to my dad's friend wedding earlier in the afternoon and saw this makcik with gold all over her. A walking jewellery shop. Like 20 necklaces around the neck, 50 bangles on both her hands and ring one each of her ten fingers. Not that i counted it la... I just like to exaggerate but yes it looked that much. I'm not kidding on the rings on all her ten fingers though hahaha. Like WTF? Gila ke apa. Hahaa.

Okla saya nak beradu. Assalamualaikum. Cheh. Eh correct spelling right. Haha.
Malam malam! (night night)

Signs

I just cried like nobody's business. Sheets of tissue were used to dry these tears of mine. Didn't expect myself to cry that hard but well I did. Really bad. And now my eyes are swollen. Now I can't sleep. I wanted to write about something else, but I can't think of anything that I want to share now.

Because the short Malay drama is going to keep me awake all night now :Tanda tanda 100 hari sebelum kematian.

Ok nak cuci muka lepas tu baca doa banyak banyak. Selamat malam.

A pinky Saturday!

It did not rain today, the sun was shining all day long. Witnessed an eclipse earlier, was amazed by the beautiful artwork of God. Watched two movies today, slept during the second one. Hahaha 50/50, movie was at 1130pm so nothing new. Any showtime after 930, I would have to give in and let my eyes, mind rest. Movie was not that great so well, sleep it was. Don't think Azly enjoyed it too hahaaa cos he didn't comment anything at all. Sent me back and here I am, after a good shower, lying on the bed, eyes wide open. Haha.

Had a really nice afternoon watching NYE, bad second lunch, killing zombies and desserts after that. Wished it could have lasted throughout the day. Mesti best. Can explore tengok hantu ke malam malam. Pergi kubur bersiar siar. Hahaha. Go for late supper. Ini semua hanya satu harapan sahaja. Haha.

Okla ngantok pulak. Nak baca doa lepas tu tido, nak mimpi yang indah. :)

I'm craving for burger ramly yummy yum yum

Ooooh lala I just had potato salad for dinner at Starbucks. With errr peppermint mocha. Haha. A nice Starbucks at Rochester park, near bouna vista. Empty and quiet. Had a few good laughs with Azly and khai. While eating my potato salad. Azly stole one of my potatoes and it annoyed me. Hahaha. Not when I'm hungry! Nice potato salad. Love the potato salad. Haha why am I repeating what I had for dinner? Haha maybe because I only had salad hahaha. To end the day with potato salad is nice. But to end the day with shitting is even nicer hahaha. Now my stomach feels empty and mother is cooking. Ok sleep farah. Another colleague of mine told me I've slimmed down hahahahha. That compliment feels so nice. Better than having orgasm hahahahaha. Errrr ok not related at all. But you get the drift.

Was a happy busy Friday for me, tomorrow will be another good Saturday for me! One week has past by without me even realizing it. Ok gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow yeayyyyyyyyy!

Selamat malam!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Alamak so many "e"

And oh ya the coffee club outside H&M has really poor service. One hour of waiting for our drinks. Another hour for our food. Another hour for the cutlery. Another hour for the bill.

*time mentioned is not the exact figure but honesty it felt damn long and yetttttttt we can laugh through it all even when we had intentions to complain.

Mahani, I seriously think we are being too nice. Let's be fierce together ok and I can't wait to plan for our little get away yeayyyyyyyyy!

Little Miss Sunshine

As sleepy and alone I am right now, I feel like I have to share my contentment and it's not fair that I only write when I am upset or being someone else. Haha. Had a good day today, its always fun at work. So many different people and with their peculiar behavior, it makes me smile silly every time I walk around the hotel. I guess I like the feeling of being liked so that's why its hard for me to get angry or raise my voice even when I'm annoyed. I would just suck it up, clench my fist and bite my teeth really hard. Haha or if there is a chance, i would shriek. You know that high pitched scream. Haha. Or i would go to the toilet, shake my head and punch the wall. Haha. I've never liked confrontations, I wont know what to say. Oh well.

Sometimes I laugh or talk to myself at work. Or sing while I walk to distribute papers. I'll smile at everyone and when they don't return it with a nod or a smile, I'll secretly curse them in my heart. Haha. Really, what is so hard about smiling? Not that i want your money what. Even when I don't feel like doing anything or get really sad, seeing people at work, the different races from different countries, the young and old, and I know that there is always someone out there who has seen worst days than me. The many hours of working hard to earn enough income for their family, or perhaps that lady who's laughing all the time (with whom I always enjoy talking to) is having some personal problems on her own. I won't know. Yet, they find happiness in all the sadness they might be going through. Everyone has their stories. Everyone has secrets.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel. We have got to have faith in ourselves and believe that there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud, look forward to the future and the surprises that are in store for us. 2012 is just a month away and I have plans to go on holidays, for a better year.

I am young, bubbly and sexy. And I always will be. Even if I'm old, wrinkled and fatter than I am now.
Because thats how I want to be. And that is how I am.

So there is nothing wrong in being happy all the time. Well, at least 90%. Heeeee. Still can't run away from having mood swings during my menstrual period. =)

The higher you climb, the greater you fall.

As much as I am happy being with you, the sadness and the tears are wearing me off. I'm thinking, is it worth it? Even if it was a joke, the feeling sucked. Simple as that.

When I think of how hopeful I was, I felt stupid. A fool that has been fooled. Funny or what? Really, you think that was funny? Hahaha how stupid you made me look. Fuck you. I am so fucking angry, never have I felt so annoyed. Oh my god. This is such a foolish game. Now you tell me, how can I even be hopeful for our future?

Malam bulan dipagar bintang

It's drizzling now, so cold and yet my heart feels warm. Had the norm, teh Tarik and late night supper. Endless jokes and full of laughter. Got the news that brother is making yet another trouble again. Was damn annoyed, so I lighted up a stick, two, three or maybe more.

With all the funny conversations we had just now, it was enough to end my night with a delightful contentment. Laughed at some people, but most of all laughed at Azly and his silly stories when he set the fire alarm at a mosque when he was 15. And for the whole twenty minutes he was telling the story, we all thought that he was only eight when he did that ridiculous act. Khai and his 106kg of bodyweight, wanted to lose weight but still steal people's food. Well actually we offered our leftovers la haha. Tong sampah mah. His Butang baju mintak ampun. Haha.

Now what would I do without them?

It's gonna be a fabulous weekend ahead and yeahhh I love Decembers! Gonna be a perfect ending to a wonderful 2011

I love surprises!

Came home late from work today, infact I've just taken my shower. Had dinner with friends at work and fell asleep in the bus. I think I drooled because my mouth was open when I woke up. Almost missed my bus stop, woke up in time to press the bell and alight. I kinda think that my butt hit the lady's legs when I rushed to excuse myself. Oh who cares, she should have stood up and let me have a bigger space to come out. She should be thankful I didn't fart in her face haha.

I love the watch and I love you. *Can'ttouchthisdance* hahahaha.

Goodnight world. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!