Run for hope

Coldplay's new song Is repeatedly playing in my head, Paradise. It is a lovely tune, especially when you need something to distract yourself from the complications of life. Besides the song which is constantly playing in my overworked mind, images too are flashing along with it. It's like some PowerPoint slideshow that I'm discreetly watching. Images of things I wish I had not seen. Of which had slapped me hard into reality. It has forcefully brought my head (which was happily up in the clouds) back to earth again. Never have I ever imagined myself to be stuck in the rut, to be a part of all these. I have gone against things I believe in, against the sanctity of marriage. It ached too much that I didn't even cry. Like probably im numb to all these emotions. Like probably I don't wanna care anymore. Like maybe I've given up. It was a painful rub in my face, showing me that this won't go anywhere at all. I'm losing my faith in love. I'm losing the trust in us.

I remember saying to myself that I've got nothing to lose in the end. Well, I'm taking that back now. I've got everything to lose; my heart, my dignity as a woman and my happiness.

The images are too disturbing that I would rather watch baboons mating. You were a mistake. This whole thing was a bloody mistake.
You looked happy in the pictures. You told me that you didn't love her anymore but I know you were lying. You kissed her like she is the only person that mattered in the world. Because I believe a picture speaks a thousand words. I'm not angry at you or anyone for that matter. I'm just frustrated at myself. For letting my heart do the talking. For leaving it in your hands. I want it back now. I want to keep it safe. And until someone like you comes along, then I would readily give it.

I have stopped believing. She wins.

Gotta run tomorrow, good morning! ;)