I don't even know if what I'm doing now is morally right. I wish it could have turned out differently. And now I am just gonna be the side order in a meal. You know, the french fries or salad. I can never be the main course, that I understand. But for how long? I can wait and be patient, but what am I actually hoping for?
To be with him, to be the main course in the meal? or probably just the desserts?
It is already a month and I am feeling the ache, that I can never be with him. He is married now and you know its really a sharp stab in your heart. No matter how much I tell myself that things are gonna be ok, that I know this is going to happen. But who wants to be the third party in a relationship right?
He told me to have faith in him, to believe that one day we would be together. But really would we? What about his wife? What about his family and her family? What about the 13 years that they have been with each other? I can't be the evil person to break all that. Even if I love him. Even I want so much to be with him.
I know I should not have gotten involved in this in the first place. I could not help it. Because he is really the perfect man that I wanna be with. To spend my entire days with. There has to be something amiss in this situation. Why the feelings developed out of a sudden?
I am wearing the prettiest necklace he bought for me which I do not deserve at all. I am starting to have doubts about us now, something that I don't wish to have. Everytime those doubts arise, I hold the necklace tight in my hands just so that I can feel that what we have is real, and that he remembers me wherever he goes. And everytime I receive a text from him, I know he does. :)
Maybe I will wait for him, maybe I should have faith in him. Because at the end of the day, I would have nothing to lose. I am going to risk it all for this love that I have for him.
Well you know, sometimes, the french fries, salad and desserts turn out to be tastier than the main course. ;)
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