7 Months, that was all it took to date someone else. After 3 and a half years of a bittersweet relationship, after saying that no other person is going to make you feel as loved, after all the intimate moments, and all it took was merely 7 months for you to get over it.
WHY AM I ANGRY AT THE SITUATION THEN WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED IT TO END?
I don't know, I can't explain myself anymore. I just feel so betrayed. So stupid for wanting a perfect relationship when i myself cant make it work to perfection.
I am just angry at the fact that you could start to love someone else already. At the fact that you did not wait for at least a year to get over our relationship. At the fact that I am still hoping for myself to change so we could make it better.
At the fact that i still love you.
4 years taken away to realise that I would end up in this sorry state.
So much for the crying and the begging and the promises.
So much for everything.
I have deleted you off from my contact list, from my day and night dreams.
Goodbye, i shall never speak of you again.
That, I promise.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I wanna travel,i wanna travel with you.
"Just so you know, I'm dating someone"
My heart broke. Expression changed, mind stopped thinking.
I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like Izy said, "It sucks".
So much for the wishful thinking. So much for thinking that you would probably wait.
Why the foolishness?
I have stopped believing.
Thank you friends, for just being there. For just being the way that you guys are.
Its time to do some soul searching and self reflecting.
But before I do that,
let me just wallow in self pity first.
My heart broke. Expression changed, mind stopped thinking.
I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like Izy said, "It sucks".
So much for the wishful thinking. So much for thinking that you would probably wait.
Why the foolishness?
I have stopped believing.
Thank you friends, for just being there. For just being the way that you guys are.
Its time to do some soul searching and self reflecting.
But before I do that,
let me just wallow in self pity first.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Ramadhan,goodness over evil.
We are already two weeks (almost) into Ramadhan, and the irony of it, I have not felt the Ramadhan spirit yet. It seemed so different these years, now that I am much older. I remember it was not as sombre as this when I was back in primary school or secondary school for that matter. It was much more grandeur and special back then, in which you could feel the joyous spirit and the incredible aura that was spread across the Muslim community.
This year, it feels like I am forced to fast. Like I fast because everyone else is doing it, like the meaning of this pristine month is lost in the wilderness of this modern era. I read up a few articles on Ramadhan, dating back to when it first began, on the reasons why we Muslims should adhere to the one pillars of Islam, it seemed rather intriguing.
As a Virgo, I would always want to find the logical meaning behind every action and so that was why I embarked on this unprecedented journey to find the most logical reasoning.
"O who believe, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you;perchance you will guard yourselves....The month of Ramadan is the monthin which the Koran was sent down,a guidance for the people,and clear verses of guidance andcriterion. [Quran: Chapter 2, 183] "
In this article, it was cited that Fasting is, among other things, the best way to learn how to attain piety.
I believe Fasting has its unspoken perks, from what I understand, this is the month when we get much closer to GOD and his supremacy, observe closely at the great wonders of the universe and its creations. Pray and listen to his teachings, because we as His humble creatures are the ones who are going to reap the benefits eventually. We are abstained from doing things that are not condoned in his teachings.
But then again, the ultimate motive of reading through the article is to find the logic in fasting.
And i could not find any.
What logic is there starving ourselves from dawn to dusk?
I dont think its much of dieting because in the end, you tend to overeat(mind is saying "you didnt eat the whole day so this is the time for you to feast on good food").
What logic is there when you are specifically instructed to fast because its one of the pillars of Islam?
Because i believe praying 5 times a day is also another pillar that makes you true a Muslim(but how often do you see people religously doing it without complaining of not having the capacity to set aside 5 minutes of his/her time)
What logic is there, contrary to poular belief, that fasting helps you to save money?
You can save money on any other day on any other month. Fasting just prevents you from buying lunch. Then what about the break of fast?
I could not find a good enough logic on why we should really fast. Maybe those who have found them may like to share with me and I am happy enough to listen.
Needless to say, I am not against my own religion or frown upon the act of fasting. In fact I, without any doubt, love this month of Ramadhan. I can boastfully say that its my favourite month out of any other islamic month. I love the spirit and the camaraderie that is established in this month. Knowing that the Muslims across the region break fast at the same time upon hearing the 'azan' (call of prayer), it makes me feel like I belong to the world, like I belong to Allah.
It is my belief and faith in Islam that I fast. It is this faith that supersedes all logical reasons, commands beyond considerable doubts, that I fast year after year since I was about nine.
And without questions i shall continue to fast because as it is,
I live To obey Allah's injunction.
P.S: I will obey the second pillar (praying 5 times a day) when i have it in my heart to fight the demon within me.
:)
This year, it feels like I am forced to fast. Like I fast because everyone else is doing it, like the meaning of this pristine month is lost in the wilderness of this modern era. I read up a few articles on Ramadhan, dating back to when it first began, on the reasons why we Muslims should adhere to the one pillars of Islam, it seemed rather intriguing.
As a Virgo, I would always want to find the logical meaning behind every action and so that was why I embarked on this unprecedented journey to find the most logical reasoning.
"O who believe, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you;perchance you will guard yourselves....The month of Ramadan is the monthin which the Koran was sent down,a guidance for the people,and clear verses of guidance andcriterion. [Quran: Chapter 2, 183] "
In this article, it was cited that Fasting is, among other things, the best way to learn how to attain piety.
I believe Fasting has its unspoken perks, from what I understand, this is the month when we get much closer to GOD and his supremacy, observe closely at the great wonders of the universe and its creations. Pray and listen to his teachings, because we as His humble creatures are the ones who are going to reap the benefits eventually. We are abstained from doing things that are not condoned in his teachings.
But then again, the ultimate motive of reading through the article is to find the logic in fasting.
And i could not find any.
What logic is there starving ourselves from dawn to dusk?
I dont think its much of dieting because in the end, you tend to overeat(mind is saying "you didnt eat the whole day so this is the time for you to feast on good food").
What logic is there when you are specifically instructed to fast because its one of the pillars of Islam?
Because i believe praying 5 times a day is also another pillar that makes you true a Muslim(but how often do you see people religously doing it without complaining of not having the capacity to set aside 5 minutes of his/her time)
What logic is there, contrary to poular belief, that fasting helps you to save money?
You can save money on any other day on any other month. Fasting just prevents you from buying lunch. Then what about the break of fast?
I could not find a good enough logic on why we should really fast. Maybe those who have found them may like to share with me and I am happy enough to listen.
Needless to say, I am not against my own religion or frown upon the act of fasting. In fact I, without any doubt, love this month of Ramadhan. I can boastfully say that its my favourite month out of any other islamic month. I love the spirit and the camaraderie that is established in this month. Knowing that the Muslims across the region break fast at the same time upon hearing the 'azan' (call of prayer), it makes me feel like I belong to the world, like I belong to Allah.
It is my belief and faith in Islam that I fast. It is this faith that supersedes all logical reasons, commands beyond considerable doubts, that I fast year after year since I was about nine.
And without questions i shall continue to fast because as it is,
I live To obey Allah's injunction.
P.S: I will obey the second pillar (praying 5 times a day) when i have it in my heart to fight the demon within me.
:)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A little something.
"You are longing for a little love and tenderness. At present you are feeling very sensitive and need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. You don't need any further stresses, strains or arguments so take a deep breath and relax.
You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence, the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality."
And I shall not deny it.
Go ahead,try it for yourself:
http://goldinuniverse.com/
:)
You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence, the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality."
And I shall not deny it.
Go ahead,try it for yourself:
http://goldinuniverse.com/
:)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Without a lunchbox.
Dark clouds are dominating the skies now, with the possibility of seeing me drifting off and going to sleep. Almost everyone in the office has gone down to get lunch, I should have followed but Im just too lazy to make small talks with random people.
I am not fasting today because (you know why) and I am pretty hungry. Maybe I will get something quick to eat to fill these little hunger pangs. I am sure most of the food is probably gone by now after the ravishing animals have gone to pounce on them.
I am waiting for them to come up so I won't have to coincidentally meet them halfway. Too bad there is only one way to get down to the canteen and that way is through the ELEVATOR.
Maybe ill go down at one and see whats left. See if the animals are kind enough to leave me some food for me to salvage.
I am bored. I need some life in me to keep my body mechanism working.
Too bad I cant whine to anyone because that anyone else has also some problems to whine about.
Its good that I have you.
But its not good that you cant hug me now.
All i need now is a blanket,a few pillows and someone familiar to snuggle with.
And if i were to given a choice, i would choose that over a million dollars.
:)
I am not fasting today because (you know why) and I am pretty hungry. Maybe I will get something quick to eat to fill these little hunger pangs. I am sure most of the food is probably gone by now after the ravishing animals have gone to pounce on them.
I am waiting for them to come up so I won't have to coincidentally meet them halfway. Too bad there is only one way to get down to the canteen and that way is through the ELEVATOR.
Maybe ill go down at one and see whats left. See if the animals are kind enough to leave me some food for me to salvage.
I am bored. I need some life in me to keep my body mechanism working.
Too bad I cant whine to anyone because that anyone else has also some problems to whine about.
Its good that I have you.
But its not good that you cant hug me now.
All i need now is a blanket,a few pillows and someone familiar to snuggle with.
And if i were to given a choice, i would choose that over a million dollars.
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)